Hopeless romantic

I think in a way, girls like and in fact, LOVE it when they feel loved. The way how their boyfriend will hold their hands everywhere they go, how they will say 'i love you' so many times per day, how much material gifts they buy for you during important dates etc.

But being with Nero, he isn't all about the hopeless romantic as I am and go around holding my hands everywhere we go or hug/kiss me everywhere, he doesn't say 'i love you' so much (in fact he doesn't say it everyday but only at random times), he will not buy me material gifts on important dates.

I can honestly say at one point of time, I felt really unloved. But what I came to realise was what is something even better than the romantic boyfriends out there. Nero might not be romantic, but he showed me love through actions AND words in a different way; in his own way with sincerity and everything else that not money or random sweet words could buy.

******

He may not hold my hands everywhere we go, but it is during the times where it was so crowded that he will hold my hands to make sure i will not get lost or bumped into some strangers (even though if it really did happen, i will be the one who make them bounce from all the blubbers i have in my body) and during the time where he bring me in to his house to meet his parents for the first time he hold my hands.

He may not be the sweetest guy who shows me he cares about me and he definitely don't say 'i love you' as much as any romantic boyfriends will do. But he will make sure that when he do wants to say it, he will AND when he cares for me, he shows it to me through his actions. His love is not about saying i love you-s, but it is how we can walk together and he will wipe off the water off from my nose. YA, i sweat through my nose it's like cooking rice steam and he WILL, without fail at random times on every dates, wipe it when he sees it.

He may not freaking kiss me everywhere we go and go all horny on me but when we do kiss, it is by heart and by his own sincerity that can never be replaced. even if it's a peck on my cheeks and not like slither the tongue in and a make out session will occur.

He may be saying "no" to me and kept on telling me for these years "can you start eating other foods?" when i said i wanted to eat something that i am craving for. But he will never forget anything i say and bring me eat it, without spoiling me. Like once in a while, i crave for sushi and if he knows i haven't eat it for very long, he will take me to that place and let me eat sushi. But if he knows i wanter to eat chicken rice and i already had chicken rice just 2-3 days back, he will ignore me la. (although i will still get it on my own lol) which brings to another point that he may not be the one who constantly surprises me with gifts but he will just bring the things i want at important dates -although i never crave for any presents other than foods- and thats where he will take me.

He may not be the one who sugar-coats his words but even if he does, he still didn't give up on me and have never thought of giving up on me no matter how unreasonable and how crazy I became once I am jealous or insecure. Even though some times i blame myself for reacting so big over it. It's his way of saying 'he loves me' without telling me.

All these things he did for me and more.... may not be how other guys show their love to their girlfriends, but it is in fact something, i will never trade with anything. Ya, that includes my chicken rice and sushi. If one day one funny person (better not use this on me) tries to make me choose between nero and these yummy foods, i will still choose nero. And it might be a light comparison for people who don't know me well but hello, these foods mean a lot to me. They make up my life.

Anyway, It all comes from within his heart and not one time was it done by less than 100% of sincerity coming from him. I might be hopeless romantic, but it is him, being him. Dating a non-romantic guy is not even something I could complain. Because all these random things he do out of sincerity, are something special EVERY SINGLE TIME he does it. Imagine if he holds my hands everywhere we go and never let go, i will feel like it has become a normal thing and i won't feel special. Of course, I am not saying it's a bad thing if your boyfriend holds your hands everywhere you go- cause thats how he shows his love for you.

Of course, i will still be that naggy irritating girl who nags at him constantly to remind him of things and other stuffs, and I will still be the irritating girl who will sha qiao to him every single time and be the one who will complain about this that those, i will still tell him goodnight and i love him everyday at least once or more if i feel like i miss him a lot during the day and just randomly pop up say all those, and i will still be one who will gets jealous (although maintaining and also improving on my insecurities but hello it really is NOT easy like learning 123 la with a past like mine coming like this whole thing is a deja vu again because of that girl). I mean, that's how i show how much i love him and i honestly have thought about a lot of times like what if i am not sensitive, what if i don't get jealous over things like that, what if i don't give a fuck so much about him like how i am now? Then how do i let him know that i love him, if i don't do all these that i am doing.

But because we are having these opposites with each other, i can teach him how to be wilful and naggy and shaqiao also bringing out the craziness and the child in us, while he taught me how to save money, how to be angry but confront with head and not my heart (like me duh), how to work hard.... and more. Sometimes, differences are what blends in together making it works like gel.

With this, I love him even more than I can ever describe... and more feelings but i really don't know how to put it in words.

Cause I'm still going to be me writing a whole long post going in a round-about way and beat about the bush before writing the ending and straight-to-point, while he's the opposite but he still reads it anyway. Though he taught me how to talk straight-to-point but i always get frustrated cause i need DETAILS and he isn't giving it to me. It's like if he is in the army, I can tell him i did this and that and give him details like today i woke up at this timing and then i crave for something then i eat that and then how i change my mind and never eat that all those.. aiya all the details la. But then he can just come and tell me he today did this training and never include the feelings like how he felt all those la or like need to shit all those, cause i see long messages i happy what. hahahahahahahahaha but aiya,  used to it already la cause i will pester him to get a slightly long answer than the last one then i over the moon already lol. Same way, like how i can text long long stuffs then suddenly if i reply one word he will think there is something wrong with me and starts to get worried.

HEHE AWWW THESE KINDS OF THINGS~~~~~~

15-17/11/14

I was so excited over this trip way back to the moment i booked the hotel.
I am still excited over this trip even though it is now over.

3 Days 2 Nights with you was/is so worthwhile i hate it when it ends.
How can 3 days pass so fast. It felt like 2 days of 6 hours each.
While I hoped time could stop, it is impossible. But there will always be next time.
So I will always look forward to other trips we gonna have next time.

Having dinner with my parents, to my childhood home/room and got to see all things no one expect my family sees. Spending time together while watching movies, having heart to heart talks that still warms up my heart even till now, knowing your patterns even more, kisses and hugs the moment i opened my eyes with you next to me, etc.....

It was bliss in the most simplest form.

Oh, and if people know me, they know whenever they give me gifts,
I will FOREVER asked them to give me something that will not die. I LIKE ALL THINGS PERMANENT like... don't give me flowers because they will wilt and die./ AND So to ALSO say, in other words, I am a gifts hoarder.
LITERALLY. Friends gave chocolates, I ate the chocolates but i kept the big packaging. Friends gave me shower gels and shampoo, I kept the finished bottles after washing them clean. Friends gave me wallets, I can't even bear to use it. Dine out with Nero, I kept the receipts and tickets. Frame it some more sometimes. Anyway. For this trip. And forever and ever next time on every trips, I am going to take polaroid with the people i go with, then put it in the hotel room cardholder.( give back the hotel room card but not the card holder in the end lol). GENIUS RIGHT. It's something that will forever last one. SO I AM VERY HAPPY WITH MY DECISION. HEHEHE.

Reminiscing

As the days get nearer to 15 nov, and I finally logged in to insta account after like 7 weeks of Mia there, I really miss Travelling. 

It's an excitement to go with families but with friends, it's another whole new level of experience.... Like eating 5 meals per day, getting fat together, living with each other's way style of living, how they sleep etc. and I guess, going to travel with my cow will be a whole new lot of feelings. 

I love exploring these kinds. I really think it's been the time where we can really sit down and have a nice chat in a normal way... Or drunk way when I'm with the usuals. 

Honestly missing everything of it. I wish I could travel more with them hehe. 

Anyway. I've been soooo busy lately. Making new website for my new store, liar games drama, business as usual, learning korean, learning psychology....

Need a getaway badly and I'm stoked. Cause 15th is finally coming!!! Will be overseas w my boy until 17th and also celebrating our 2yrs3months tgt on the 15th!! 

Happy nehhhhhhh～～～～

Domino effect

This is gonna be long because I have sooooo many thoughts in my brain right now I just think that all the things I'm thinking bout will sound blabberish cause I'm like a train track whatever I am thinking i just write it down without filtering. But it's okay. Who cares about grammars and vocabs and what's not when in the end the only one who matters is me re reading it the next time. 

People say I stubborn. Even my own family and Nero can't stand it and just gets frustrated with me sometimes. But it doesn't matter.

Why? Because the decisions I made are wise and good. And so far, I've never regretted anything I've decided. This "wise" thinking and stubbornness started during sec 5 and still on-Going. 

But I don't hate it. Because with that, I am able to escape plenty of troubles that I could have been in, i could have disappointed many people I care, I would have cared about people I shouldn't care about, I would have not grown independently and still ask money from my parents, I could have not learned how to make websites on my own that people could probably take course or paid for.... Etc.

More and more of that but they say people change and I honestly changed a lot. But better. Independent. Stubborn to the bone. K say all this like saying my good sides right but whatever it is ALL true. *flips hair* talk about hair. I regretted cutting my fringe back to bangs. Only thing I regretted is always eating too much and anyhow cut hair when I feel like it. Aishhhhhh.

Back to topic. I actually have a lot to talk about but then so many things on my mind I talked about two things, I forgot about the other stuffs I wanna talk about. So I shall end here and blog again when I remember. 

AH. I remembered something else. 

My bro and I. Sometimes there's a certain topic we have to avoid because he's stubborn, I am stubborn. So I can't be bothered to talk to him about it. Talk one time can make a mountain out of a mole. 

He thinks that people who clubs and smokes aren't bad and I shouldn't loathe them. I DONT AH. I don't hate people who do that. I tell him sooooo many times already. I just don't like the environment, not the people. I mean YA la, friend friend U go there then go la not my problem as long as they enjoy themselves. But don't and never ever ever force me to go there. (And actually I'm quite happy that I made the right friends la. They went la but If I don't go I don't have to and they don't force me like put a knife on my throat and say if I don't then don't friend this kinda thing la. I think mutual respect and understanding is good). But then on the other hand, BEsides talking about friends. If I'm choosing a partner I have to spend my life with, i don't think I will want to have someone like that. Once is enough. Lesson learnt, case closed. Never repeat the same mistakes. No AH. Don't anyone dare to tell me once a mistake from one guy doesn't mean all like that WHAt. Bull my shit. How many people have I actually met that had their relationship broken due to that. ALOT MORE THAN YOU THINK. And no AH. Don't say cause they choose wrong partner. I will refuse and reject that shit excuse. Anyway. Like I said. I don't hate the people, I dislike the environment. The environment as well as the consequences people have to bear. They lose their ability to judge what's right and wrong under the wrong influence, and the responsibility is too big. The hurt given to the other partner who didn't do any wrong is just too over powering. 

So to prevent that shit from happening. I shut those shit down from my life. My smoking is eating food and my clubbing is shopping. Don't say waste money AH alcohol and ciggs I bet cost more. And don't say eat eat eat become fat pig. I rather have food to eat and gain calories there than to drink and gain calories through liquid.

Say so much later some smartass will tell me "The previous crush U had on someone Also smoke and club what". YA LA THATS WHY I END UP DISLIKING IT MORE THAN I LIKE IT, I HATED IT, AND I NEVER END UP W HIM RIGHT.

Although I don't believe in God all these things AH. But sometimes my mouth more poisoning than my actions la. So sometimes if my business is good, I go to my house altar and say thanks. I don't ask for it to have more la but say thanks at least I grateful la. And to have met Nero and such. I think my love life is damn fucking LUcky cause I only have to suffer through heartbreaks once for 4 years. but all is good and although I don't tell anyone before but I really still thank him the above thanks la. I don't ask for anything from him above, I just say thanks. So I just think... I'm not that bad after all. Since I'm like ALready blessed by it and go through the communion and the ladt stage of it that die die make me catholic but dk laaaaaa. I don't Even know ANYTHJNF about the bible and holy holy things. 

I don't want think ALRADY so tired and sleepy. My mood these days really like roller coaster come out of nowhere one. I think my Ang coming soon. BURDEN. 

Oh oh oh!!! And it's already the 20++. I'm looking forward to the 15th of next month. Heheheheheheehhehehehehehehehe ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Liar game

My friends would probably know no matter how they psycho me, if a drama or a show is not romance or don't have any romance part of it I WONT WATCH. 

YA I've been searching high and lows for all these kind of NORMAL romance shows and tbh, I think these few months I've tried lot of funny funny shows. 

I used to only watch kdrama and Taiwan dramas. Mostly kdrama la but after that devil beside you show I couldn't find any other shows that are that good. So I gave up on Taiwan drama and move on w kdrama. It's been really really really good but I just got tired of finding for a new good romance kdrama. So I went back to Taiwanese drama and I found two freaking good shows!!! But I forgot one of the name but I know got Aaron Yan inside. Then now I'm watching fabulous boys. A remake la but it's still as good.

I went on searching for anime and there's this anime I went craaaaaazy over. KAICHOU wa maid Sama. Wah good stuff man that one. The main lead love love love love. 

Kk back to the main topic. What I wanted to say was. I watched this jap drama called "liar games". It isn't about love. But it's very addictive cause it's just about intellectual and psychology shit that's FTEAKING good. Like cmon AH. In a room of 22 people, how would you guarantee from either a yes or a no answer that you can be part of the lesser people grp and a guaranteed victory, if it was a minority challenge. I won't even call it smart it's just genius. Or maybe I stupid with maths and psychology la but it's really damn interesting. Got a lot more  challenges it's intriguing man.

Okay don't want blog already GONNA watch the next episode HEHEEHEHE. 

Right now

Right now,
I am supposed to be asleep already because every time i eat beef, I will be very very very very sleepy after that. And I ate beef earlier on. Ribeye extra cut at Astons'.

With my boy. We went to eat at the salad and bar thing Aston's buffet. Ya again. And this time, we both ordered the same thing. Actually we wanted to go for the normal prime ribeye cut at $21+ (with buffet and free flow drink) 200gm of the beef. BUT THIS SMART MAN OF MINE. Saw the $24++ 250gm of ribeye extra cut and he said "wah add $$ amount only slight difference we go for extra cut la" SO OKAY. OH OH OH and i tell you!!! I damn happy cause ah. Like you know the closer you are with your partner the similar you become right??????? Thennnnnn ~~~~~

Nero said to the waiter " 2 of extra ribeye cut"
Waiter: would you like to get the fries or baked potato for the side dishes?
ME & NERO AT THE SAME TIME "Baked potato"
Waiter: how would you like it done?
ME & NERO AT THE SAME TIME "Medium rare"
Waiter: would you like mushroom sauce or black pepper sauce?
ME & NERO AT THE SAME TIME "Mushroom"

YOU TELL ME HOW HAPPY I WAS. LOL. Okay, maybe you think it's exaggerating on the part of my happiness but honestly, I WAS THAT FUCKING OVER THE MOON OKAY. LOL.

Anddddd, If you know me well enough, you know i FUCKING LOVE the mushroom soup at Astons' cause of the very strong herb and mushroom smell, and the creaminess. AND TODAY's SOUP of the day was that. HAPPY MEEEEEEE~~~~!!!

After we ate until so full, FIRST TIME IN 2 YRS NERO SAID HE CANNOT FINISH THE FOOD CAUSE OF THE XTRA CUT THAT HE REGRETTED, we went to Daiso. Because i was looking for this charcoal mask that they are selling. I always use the charcoal mask there cause it's cheap and it works like magic. All my blackheads and whiteheads all gone with that and it's only $2. I bought 5 bottles the last time and it's finished now. I needed to get new bottles of them but i went to Vivo outlet and it was out of stock. Went to Orchard's earlier on also out of stock. I damn sad and stress now cause i can feel the heads gonna come out soon. It was the last squeeze of my bottle today that i put on, what am i supposed to put on my face next week????? Gotta find it soon man.  Its part of my life already. I think i'm gonna buy like 10 bottles of it when i find it. Freaking hard to find cause it's always out of stock.

Anyway, i've also been eating good foods. But mainly these 2 foods.

Preserved vegs with Minced pork. The one at Vivo is gooooood~~~

Damn tasty!! Spam chill even nicer. And usually mum would buy herbal chicken with it.

So i usually took the soup and eat with this, heavenly. I don't usually eat chinese foods a lot but this.

EXCEPTION. 

Salmon sashimi. hahahahha i always eat this so it's not surprising.

But if i order delivery like this, i don't just eat them raw. I usually cook miso soup with it.

Then dip these fishes to my soup and let it cook there. YUM IN A BOWL.

And if I'm really hungry, put rice inside the bowl of soup. GOODNESS!

SO. I was supposed to be asleep i was saying. I was asleep earlier on. But i woke up.

For business. Too tired and i really couldn't do everything by tonight and through the night, 

so i've postponed the date to +1 more day than the scheduled today at 6pm.

It was a good decision. NO REGRETS.

And i found this on Tumblr few days back. It's true.

Gonna tumblr again and sleep. Or maybe i shouldn't.... Cause my dearest boy is gonna travel to HK tmr with his family until next tuesday and since he's gonna be up early later at probably 6/7am, i should probably wait and stay up?? I'll see how. 

BYEEEEEE~~~~~~~

OH, And 15th. TODAY WAS OUR 2YRS2MONTHS TGT. 

TIME REALLY PASS VERYYYYYYYY FAST.

IT'S BEEN ENJOYABLE. I LOVE EVERY MOMENT OF IT.

BUT I ESPECIALLY LOVE THE PART WHERE WE OVERCOME SOMETHING AND THEN WE MADE UP IN A FEW HOURS' TIME. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, NO MATTER HOW JIALAT THE QUARELLS WERE, WE NEVER GAVE UP ON EACH OTHER.

THAT IS IMPORTANT FOR ME. LOVE IS GOOD. IRREPLEACABLE.

AND MORE TO COMEEEEE~~~~

Talk about that, i aLWAYS love it when Nero suddenly talk about kids and such.

Fast and irrational for others in their pov for talking about that. But i'm pretty sure talking about that cause no harm. It's not like we didn't think it through and get married and have babies right now when our finances are nowhere good lol. Taking it slowwww~~~ and steady.

just some random thought tonight

Looking back, I find myself miserably misunderstood by people. But it's alright aye, it's all good now.
They said you don't need a certain number of friends, you only need a number of certain friends. Yes?

Actually tbh, it's not that i am anti-social and such. I just don't like the feeling of being fake. Like why would you be nice to someone you do not like? Sure you can laugh here and there with them but that's all fake.... what's the point? I really can't be bothered with people I'm not close to. They say it's an immature act but i'd rather be labelled as immature than a two-faced bitch. If i can't even stand someone who's two-faced, why would I be one myself?

"Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you" - Confucius

Which is why eg. in class, I'd rather talk to people i'm just close to. Actually, it's not that hard to know that i don't like someone. If they're in a group with me and i don't talk to them / talk less to them about their personal life but mostly and/or entirely on the problem topic itself, then it's just quite obvious i am not interested. But y'know, you will know that you're close to me when i'm damn talkative around you.. and crazy and open. Actually, i'm really damn fucking happy with the choices i made. We see everyone graduated, but who's the one who still stick with me? That's the people I treasure. If i am still even talking to you after graduation, then you already mean something to me. Otherwise, I honestly can't remember 3/4 of the class names already. SWEAR. Even Nero sometimes get fed up cause he's talking about this person and i'm like who is that.

But that's one part of me when i do not like others la. I do like other people, but its' time.
I know they say make time for people who you love. I absolutely understood it.
But I really just can't. Even if i am able to meet people. i need to have like a few days notice before it.

Because of my work. People think that when i'm done with one work, i can have rest. BUT NO.
I just ended one preorder. I have not listed and collate their orders (max. 1 hour) , i have not placed their orders (max. 4-5 hours), I have not done QC and pack parcels for the last preorder items that came (max. one fucking day and another half day YA I'M NOT EXAGGERATING), I have not mailed out their parcels that i just packed (max. half an hour), I wanna open new preorder within 2 days' time, I have not found the new items arrivals (half a day), I have not edited all the pictures that's to be released for the next preorder (another half a day).... and more la. That's just the main few parts.
It's also frustrating to me sometimes cause i am worried for my eyesight AND I CAN'T WATCH MY DRAMA THE DAY IT WAS RELEASED. Upsetting.

K but above all of this, there are really a lot of things i wanna do and spend my time on. I've always wanted to daobao foods for Nero during lunch time y'know that bf sometimes joke about "you know a good wife will bring lunch for the husband one", although it was only a joke but i really want to do it. But how can i, when every time i slept after 3am-4am (the time i finished all my work) and then only woke up at 12-1pm. After lunch already right? Feel damn bummed. Then another, i need to pass my bro his girlfriend stuffs and i really want to pass him fast but how you tell me how. Everytime i want to do that, it's either i have not sleep the night before or i have too many things to do the next day. Then, I also want to meet the usuals. but i'm actually thankful we can still meet on weekend. Also, I want to meet my bf's mehmehs friends, it's been really long since i last spent time with them. BUT HOW U TELL ME HOW.

Haiya but that is also another reason why the time i managed to spend with people are the ones i treasure la. Cause it's really taking up most of my time. Then dumb people will ask me why you don't want to take a break first then continue. You so smart you try to take a break and once you rest, where will you have the motivation and determination again to start? Will confirm make you damn sian to start it again. So knowing myself cause i damn lazy and freaking good at procastination, i rather not take the risk and just work and work and work.

Dk how my random thought become compo la but hahahaha if you managed to read everything, you da real mvp. goodnight.