Looking back, I find myself miserably misunderstood by people. But it's alright aye, it's all good now.
They said you don't need a certain number of friends, you only need a number of certain friends. Yes?
Actually tbh, it's not that i am anti-social and such. I just don't like the feeling of being fake. Like why would you be nice to someone you do not like? Sure you can laugh here and there with them but that's all fake.... what's the point? I really can't be bothered with people I'm not close to. They say it's an immature act but i'd rather be labelled as immature than a two-faced bitch. If i can't even stand someone who's two-faced, why would I be one myself?
"Don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you" - Confucius
Which is why eg. in class, I'd rather talk to people i'm just close to. Actually, it's not that hard to know that i don't like someone. If they're in a group with me and i don't talk to them / talk less to them about their personal life but mostly and/or entirely on the problem topic itself, then it's just quite obvious i am not interested. But y'know, you will know that you're close to me when i'm damn talkative around you.. and crazy and open. Actually, i'm really damn fucking happy with the choices i made. We see everyone graduated, but who's the one who still stick with me? That's the people I treasure. If i am still even talking to you after graduation, then you already mean something to me. Otherwise, I honestly can't remember 3/4 of the class names already. SWEAR. Even Nero sometimes get fed up cause he's talking about this person and i'm like who is that.
But that's one part of me when i do not like others la. I do like other people, but its' time.
I know they say make time for people who you love. I absolutely understood it.
But I really just can't. Even if i am able to meet people. i need to have like a few days notice before it.
Because of my work. People think that when i'm done with one work, i can have rest. BUT NO.
I just ended one preorder. I have not listed and collate their orders (max. 1 hour) , i have not placed their orders (max. 4-5 hours), I have not done QC and pack parcels for the last preorder items that came (max. one fucking day and another half day YA I'M NOT EXAGGERATING), I have not mailed out their parcels that i just packed (max. half an hour), I wanna open new preorder within 2 days' time, I have not found the new items arrivals (half a day), I have not edited all the pictures that's to be released for the next preorder (another half a day).... and more la. That's just the main few parts.
It's also frustrating to me sometimes cause i am worried for my eyesight AND I CAN'T WATCH MY DRAMA THE DAY IT WAS RELEASED. Upsetting.
K but above all of this, there are really a lot of things i wanna do and spend my time on. I've always wanted to daobao foods for Nero during lunch time y'know that bf sometimes joke about "you know a good wife will bring lunch for the husband one", although it was only a joke but i really want to do it. But how can i, when every time i slept after 3am-4am (the time i finished all my work) and then only woke up at 12-1pm. After lunch already right? Feel damn bummed. Then another, i need to pass my bro his girlfriend stuffs and i really want to pass him fast but how you tell me how. Everytime i want to do that, it's either i have not sleep the night before or i have too many things to do the next day. Then, I also want to meet the usuals. but i'm actually thankful we can still meet on weekend. Also, I want to meet my bf's mehmehs friends, it's been really long since i last spent time with them. BUT HOW U TELL ME HOW.
Haiya but that is also another reason why the time i managed to spend with people are the ones i treasure la. Cause it's really taking up most of my time. Then dumb people will ask me why you don't want to take a break first then continue. You so smart you try to take a break and once you rest, where will you have the motivation and determination again to start? Will confirm make you damn sian to start it again. So knowing myself cause i damn lazy and freaking good at procastination, i rather not take the risk and just work and work and work.
Dk how my random thought become compo la but hahahaha if you managed to read everything, you da real mvp. goodnight.
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